Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Sach Ka Saamna - My views on TV

Let us start if you can face your moment of truth oopsie , sach ka samna, (this might reflect my views on television, NOM to them though),

Q1. Do you secretly like watching Fashion TV and Zee Trends?
(this is cheating you cannot ask an embarassing one to start with)
Ans. Yes
Q2. Do you consider Aaj tak and India TV to be cheap entertainment of third grade?
(Yes, this one is better)
Ans. Yes
Q3. Even when you make fun of your wife, you like watching Bandini along with her ?
(Don't do that to me! I should not have started the show)
Ans . Yes
Q4. You feel that Raghu (Roadies fame) is cool and he should be given a whip to flog the mindless participants having no idea / direction of life?
(Oh my god, I should have not put this on Blog, it might hurt)
Ans. : Yes
Q5. You think that Archana Puran Singh has done an implantation ? Of her vocal chords?
(Uff, these people seem to have profiled me for my viewing habits)
Ans : Yes
Ek aur sawaaal aur 1 lakh Rupyee aapke.

Q6. The Moment we ask this question and the music is played for getting in to an embarassing break, you will not switch the channel waiting for the "Manforce" Ads
(Dhan tan dhen dhan tan dhen. Break. Aage dekhiye kya wo ye ad dekhenge?)
Ans. (An embarassed and "had a good break" expression) Yes

You have won 1 lakh rupees. Kya aap aage badhna chahenge, 5 our question aur aap jeet sakte hai 5 lakhs. You are playing it well, par questions aur personal hote jayenge.

Q7. You liked Star movies in your school days more than the star movies now, you also liked TB6 ?
(OMG, they remember this. Hope My mom doesnt know what these channel showed)
Ans. Yes.
Q8. You told your friends that you love National Geographic and Discovery channel programs more than silk stalking on AXN, even when it was wrong?
(I know they too told me the same things. I dont mind answering this. But why does he seem obsessed with S*X)
Ans : Yes
Q9. You secretly wish that you can extend the lovescenes that appear in English movie. You would appreciate an interactive Dish feature on it?
(see here he goes again. It seems some teenager has framed the questions)
Ans: Yes
Q10. You feel that your wife ditched you on your first date feigning sickness to watch Karan-Gouri 's marriage in Kyunki saas bhi kabhi Bahu thi?
Ans. Yes

One More question aur 5 lakh rupye aapke.

Q11. Your wife bought that 20K saaree last year that looked like Kumkum. What did you feel like putting on fire – Your wife or her Saree?

Wife Presses the buzzer, she would not be able to handle it. He says that this is an answer your wife doesn’t want to listen. Ab doosra sawal, isse difficult bhi ho sakta hai. For 5 lakh rupees. If you cant speak the truth you take nothing.

Q11. Have you lost any of your wife’s money on Udyan Mukherjee’s suggestion?
(Dhan tan dhen dhan tan dhen. Break. Contestant rushes to the TV screen)
Ans. Yes.

You win 5 lakh rupees. Wife has a tear in her eye; she also had abuses on her mind that not all could read. “Saree or me? My Money?****”
Too Much Has already been exposed, would you like to continue.
I feel I should sit here as long as I can, don’t want to go home after those questions anyways.
Aage sawaal aur bhi difficult hoge, kya aap tayiar hai ?
Turning to wife, he seems to be investing a lot of money in stock markets.
So what does he watches the most on TV
“CNBC-TV18, he is one of those intellectual sorts”

Q12.Though your wife seems to be impressed with your intellectual viewing, you watch CNBC TV 18 waiting for Shireen Bhan?
People might think I am going to get divorced after this show, I feel I am going to be kicked everyday now.
Ans, Yes

I avoid looking at wife.

Now we come to the danger number 13. You answer this and you move ahead towards 10 lakhs, you don’t and you lose your 5 lakhs.
Wife, what kind of girls did he like before you got married?
Classy, Stylish, speaking impressive English, Simple, You see, just like me.
Q13. You watch ten minutes of “Jyoti” waiting for Rakhi ka swayamwar , do you love the show?
(Ofcourse I don’t , how can anyone love Rakhi and her stupidity, this is too simple)
Ans. No
Ye Jawab, Sach ……….. Nahi hai …. This answer is FALSE.
My wife breaks down, I find it weird. Do I really like watching her swayamwar?!!!

P.S. : Did you watch the Manmohan Episode?! Hlarious. I think she will marry Elesh.


monika said...

Awsome writeup :p

I wish Rajeev Khandekwal or Rakhi Sawant read this.

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