Sach Ka Saamna - My views on TV

Let us start if you can face your moment of truth oopsie , sach ka samna, (this might reflect my views on television, NOM to them though),

Q1. Do you secretly like watching Fashion TV and Zee Trends?
(this is cheating you cannot ask an embarassing one to start with)
Ans. Yes
TRUE
Q2. Do you consider Aaj tak and India TV to be cheap entertainment of third grade?
(Yes, this one is better)
Ans. Yes
TRUE
Q3. Even when you make fun of your wife, you like watching Bandini along with her ?
(Don't do that to me! I should not have started the show)
Ans . Yes
TRUE
Q4. You feel that Raghu (Roadies fame) is cool and he should be given a whip to flog the mindless participants having no idea / direction of life?
(Oh my god, I should have not put this on Blog, it might hurt)
Ans. : Yes
TRUE
Q5. You think that Archana Puran Singh has done an implantation ? Of her vocal chords?
(Uff, these people seem to have profiled me for my viewing habits)
Ans : Yes
TRUE
Ek aur sawaaal aur 1 lakh Rupyee aapke.

Q6. The Moment we ask this question and the music is played for getting in to an embarassing break, you will not switch the channel waiting for the "Manforce" Ads
(Dhan tan dhen dhan tan dhen. Break. Aage dekhiye kya wo ye ad dekhenge?)
Ans. (An embarassed and "had a good break" expression) Yes
TRUE

You have won 1 lakh rupees. Kya aap aage badhna chahenge, 5 our question aur aap jeet sakte hai 5 lakhs. You are playing it well, par questions aur personal hote jayenge.

Q7. You liked Star movies in your school days more than the star movies now, you also liked TB6 ?
(OMG, they remember this. Hope My mom doesnt know what these channel showed)
Ans. Yes.
TRUE
Q8. You told your friends that you love National Geographic and Discovery channel programs more than silk stalking on AXN, even when it was wrong?
(I know they too told me the same things. I dont mind answering this. But why does he seem obsessed with S*X)
Ans : Yes
TRUE
Q9. You secretly wish that you can extend the lovescenes that appear in English movie. You would appreciate an interactive Dish feature on it?
(see here he goes again. It seems some teenager has framed the questions)
Ans: Yes
TRUE
Q10. You feel that your wife ditched you on your first date feigning sickness to watch Karan-Gouri 's marriage in Kyunki saas bhi kabhi Bahu thi?
Ans. Yes
TRUE

One More question aur 5 lakh rupye aapke.

Q11. Your wife bought that 20K saaree last year that looked like Kumkum. What did you feel like putting on fire – Your wife or her Saree?

Wife Presses the buzzer, she would not be able to handle it. He says that this is an answer your wife doesn’t want to listen. Ab doosra sawal, isse difficult bhi ho sakta hai. For 5 lakh rupees. If you cant speak the truth you take nothing.

Q11. Have you lost any of your wife’s money on Udyan Mukherjee’s suggestion?
(Dhan tan dhen dhan tan dhen. Break. Contestant rushes to the TV screen)
Ans. Yes.
TRUE

You win 5 lakh rupees. Wife has a tear in her eye; she also had abuses on her mind that not all could read. “Saree or me? My Money?****”
Too Much Has already been exposed, would you like to continue.
I feel I should sit here as long as I can, don’t want to go home after those questions anyways.
Aage sawaal aur bhi difficult hoge, kya aap tayiar hai ?
Turning to wife, he seems to be investing a lot of money in stock markets.
“Yes”
So what does he watches the most on TV
“CNBC-TV18, he is one of those intellectual sorts”

Q12.Though your wife seems to be impressed with your intellectual viewing, you watch CNBC TV 18 waiting for Shireen Bhan?
People might think I am going to get divorced after this show, I feel I am going to be kicked everyday now.
Ans, Yes
TRUE

I avoid looking at wife.

Now we come to the danger number 13. You answer this and you move ahead towards 10 lakhs, you don’t and you lose your 5 lakhs.
Wife, what kind of girls did he like before you got married?
Classy, Stylish, speaking impressive English, Simple, You see, just like me.
Q13. You watch ten minutes of “Jyoti” waiting for Rakhi ka swayamwar , do you love the show?
(Ofcourse I don’t , how can anyone love Rakhi and her stupidity, this is too simple)
Ans. No
Ye Jawab, Sach ……….. Nahi hai …. This answer is FALSE.
My wife breaks down, I find it weird. Do I really like watching her swayamwar?!!!

P.S. : Did you watch the Manmohan Episode?! Hlarious. I think she will marry Elesh.

A Few People Whom I Met

{Inspired from real life}

Us lodge ki deemak khati lakdi
se bani wo dining table
Aur waha pe rehte pandeyji,
Ek dhoti pehankar
Amiro ke dukh sehankar
Muchho ko taav dete
Khane ki baat karte
"Khana achha bana hai"
Aisa kaha kisi ne baju ki table se,
Pandeyji muskurate,
Thehthehate,
Baat karte, haste,
Paani bhar rahe the pital ke glass mein wo,
Tab poocha maine,
"Pandeyji, kaha se ho?"
Mein utsuk tha, kaha se hoge wo,
Kaun si jagah pe khusia,
Rukti nahi hai tute darwazo mein,
Kaun si jagah pe baatein
Khilti hai ek rasoi ghar mein,
Unki hasi waisi hi thi,
Kaha usi andaaz se,
Ke wo hai,
"Hindustan se"

*******************************************************

Mumbai ki bheegti baarish mein,
Ek chhoti si chhat wala bus-stand tha,
Woh tha ucchi imaarato ke saamne,
Par waha ke raaste, basti se bhi aate the,
Mein kuch logo ke saath,
Waaha khada bus ke intezar mein,
Thoda sa bheeg raaha tha ki tab,
Ek chhoti bachhi haath mein fati gudiya leke,
Ayi kaha "Kuch dedo Sahab"
Meine socha jeb mein pade chhute do rupiyo ka,
Phir Socha, iska baap inhi se daaru piyega,
Isko shayad pitega, ya usse bhi kharab,
Meine usko dekha, socha ki kaise madad karu,
Bus aa gayi, mein katar mein dheere dheere door gaya usse,
Bus mein aage ki seat mein baitha tha wo,
Jisne khidki se is ladki ko dekha,
Paas bulaya, aur khidki se apna aadha khaya,
Burger usko de dia.
Mein soch raha tha, kya ye itna mushkil tha?

*****************************************************

Mein aya tha waha tumhe milne ke lie,
Paise hote nahi the hotel mein rehne ke lie,
TO us lodge mein jaha mein ruka tha,
Jaha Pandeyji khana banate the,
Meine kamra share kia tha kisi ke saath,
Wo keh raha tha mein kerela se hu,
Mera beta school mein doosri class mein hai,
Biwi silai bunai kar leti hai, hum gareeb nahi hai,
Salesman ki job mein jab aise bahar aata hu,
Roz ka paanch sau rupiye extra paata hu,
Usne phir baatein kari thi apne gaaon ki,
Apne logo ki jinki haalat kharab hai,
Maine sab ki kahani sochi thi,
Kitne alag aur dilchasp the wo log,
Jinse mila bhi nahi tha mein,
Aaj yaaha baithke dekhta hu,
Chai pine aur baaton mein nipatane ke,
Din ke Paanch sau rupiye lete log,
Rote rehte hai paiso ki kami pe,
Sabki Kahani ek hai,
Sabki baatein ek si,
Kaash maine uska pata poocha hota,
Inko bhejta un dilchasp logo ke paas,
Dekhte ki paisa kam hai agar paisa
Paiso ke lie ho to
Aur paisa paryapt hai agar wo,
Biwi ke kangan aur School ke baste ke lie ho.

Kaminey Music Review

Would Request you to read my review online on Planet Bollywood website. Here is the link for the same : http://planetbollywood.com/displayReview.php?id=m071609062011

Here comes the baap of albums that have come this year. This for sure is the one everyone had waited for and this for sure is the one that would not disappoint. It has experimented with both Music and lyrics. Even if this album is not played often and remembered for long, this would be one of my favourite for this year and for the time being for sure. It makes me feel elated.

Especially Lyrics by Gulzar are awesome. I dont know who else could write a poetic song on AIDS or a Poetry using the word "Kaminey". Vishal Bhardwaj reserves his best music for Gulzar's films and Gulzar reserves his best lyrics for Vishal's.

The Album starts with a very upbeat "Dhan te Nan". The song starts with a solo trumpet and then the beats carry it into a beautiful flow, the moment when they sing "Dhan Te Nan" you feel like smiling. It is sung beautifully by Vishal Dadlani and Sukhvinder sing. Its wonderful how both of them complement each other, like another song where Kailash Kher does the same.
Aaja Aaaja Dil Nichode,
Raat Ki matki phode,
Koi Goodluck nikale,
koi gullak to phode.

No one could have used English and Hindi in such a nice sync. Its evident also in his thoughts when he says life is like a "one way" and there is only one chance. Also in the second stanza(3:50)there is one thing that I liked. "Kai Kabre hai, Kai Khabrein Hai...". This song is a blast for sure.

Next on the list is "Fatak". Just like the song before, you can see how Kailash Kher's voice can mix into Sukhvinder's voice, at times I forgot who is singing what. It has a beautiful sound of the whip "Fatak" and solid drums playing in the back ground. It is what makes Vishal Bhardwaj's Music so special and so earthy.

Bhanwara Bhanwara aya re, (the way sukhvinder extends the "re" makes it typically beautiful)

Gun Gun Karta Aya re ....

And the Bhanwara here refers to AIDS. I could not think of any other lyricist who could have turned message on AIDS in to such a poetic song. Especially listen to Sukhvinder (around 2:20) followed by Kailash kher,
"Jitna bhi jhooth bole thoda hai,
Keedo ki basti ka makoda hai .... "

And at the end Gulzaar saab tells us what Bhanwara is through the most famous sher " Ye ishq nahi aasan, AIDS ka khatra hai ..."

Message : Ke Naiya Dube na, ye Bhanwara Kaate na.

Then comes the GO Charlie Go theme and I assume that this would merge well with the story for "Fahid Kapur's" acts. It sounds a little like a background score of a thriller / mystery movie. Midway it starts with the "Dhan Te Nan" extension and it sounds very much like the 80s thriller after that. This would look better after the movie is released.

Then is one of the most beautiful compositions - The Title track.
Kya kare zindagi, isko hum jo mile,
Iski Jaan Kha Gaye, Raat Din ke gile, .... Raat din gile,
Meri Aarzooooo , Kamini,
Mere khwaaab bhiiiiiiiiii, Kaminey,
EK Dil se dosti thi, ye huzoor bhi Kaminey.

(Vishal Bhardwaj's vocal suits Kaminey in a very poetically painful way here. It somehow reminded me of No Smoking songs).

I wish he could have composed one more of similar track with his own voice. The lyrics are beautifully done. This is the best one from Gulzaar saab in this album. A few very-Gulzaar touches

"Kabhi zindagi se maanga,pinjare mein chaand laado,
Kabhi laal Ten deke, kaha aasman pe taango,
Jeene Ke sab Karine, The Hamesha se Kaminey"

Poetry generally is written with two lines rhyming and impact in the second half of the second line. But I like Gulzaarsaab who uses the third line with the word "Kaminey" and it makes it beautifully poetic. I just cant stop myself typing these lyrics, and just before these lines is a beautifully composed symphony :

"Jiska bhi chehra chila, Andar se aur bhi nikala,
Masoom sa Kabootar, Nacha to Mor Nikala,
Kabhi hum Kaminey nikale, Kabhi doosre ..... Kaminey"

Hail Gulazaar saab, Hail Vishal for not just composing this beautifully but singing it in such an intoxicating way. It is not full of pathos, but its full of feeling of pain and betrayal that can come from heart and can make the word soothing.

Next comes something for the slow song fans, the Mohit Chauhan club. I like this song though it isnt something that is out of the league. It is very much the usually beautifully romantic song in between an extraordinary album.
"Dil Ne kaisi Harkat Ki hai, Pehli baar mohabbat ki hai, Aakhiri baar Mohabbat ki hai" .

Vishal uses the background score to make the song linger in your minds and the voice of Mohit chahuhan seems apt for the song. I am sure this song would look good on screen with Shahid kapoor and Priyanka Chopra. Pick of the lyrics in this song would be

"Tujhe Gudgudana, satana, yunhi sote hue,
Gaal pe Tipana, Michna, bewajah be sabab.....
yaad hai, pipal ke jiske ghane saaye the,
Hamne Gilhari ke jhoothe Matar Khaye the,
Ye Barkat un Hazrat ki hai...... Pehli baar Mohabbat ki hai..."

Last song in the series would be "Raat Ke Dhai Baje" which looks like a celebration mix for Pehli baar Mohabbat. It is sung by a number of singers (Kunal Ganjawala, Sunidhi Chauhan, Rekha Bhardwaj, Suresh Wadkar, Earl) and is a typical song that is going to be played in celebrations and discs alike along with "Dhan Te Nan". Singing in this song isnt too impressive but the way the song is composed its great. I liked the following lyrics in the song :

Ishq mein jalte hue, saans Tezaabi lage,
Chikne Chikne Lachhe hai, Reshami se phande,
Chupdi Chupdi Baaton mein Bhole bhale bande,
Tanhai ne fursat di hai.... pehli baar mohabbat ki hai..."

Vishal Bhardwaj happens to be one of my favourite personalities in the world of cinema, and I await his work in all faculties. It is like listening to someone, who worships the medium. And Kaminey just makes you feel so much better about him. You might compare these tracks with his earlier works "Omkara", "U Me aur Hum" or even "No Smoking" and "Maachis" but all his works stand out in the crowd on their own. They are like different human beings. You cannot say one is better than the other. Songs I am sure apart from the beauty they show now are also situational and would make the movie a lot better.

Its a Vishal Bhardwaj- Gulzaar Album, with their classic flavors, so we dont need a review to grab this one. Its sure to please you.

I am not qualified to rate this but on my liking scale it is 8.5 out of 10.

Aaj Bhi Zindagi Gaati Hai

I think I have become more poem friendly post Happy's birth. Will get back to the written word soon. Here is one more poem.

Inspiration : A girl I had a chat with yesterday, Vishal Bhardwaj's voice in Kaminey title track, Women in my life forward in the morning, The daughter I dont have, the sister i craved for, Too much of Gulzaar and Prasoon joshi songs, and life ofcourse.

Zindagi Gaati Hai
-Jaykumar Shah

Zindagi gaati hai, chillati hai,
Khamoshi mein, chupke se,
Koi Awaaz nahi hoti phir bhi
Zindagi gaati hai khamoshi mein.

Un dino jab aangan bade the,
Gudiya tasveer banati thi,
Kabhi suraj ko lal kar deti wo,
Kabhi meri moochein banati thi,
Kabhi maa ko chudi pehnati thi,
Kabhi deewaro pe likh jaati thi,
Uske banaye lal suraj mein,
Un hari hari si chhudiyon mein,
Aaj bhi,
Zindagi gaati hai Khamoshi mein.

Tumse mulakat hui thi sapno mein,
Phir college ke un raasto pe,
Din tumhari parchai se the,
Ghazalein meri baaton si,
Chandi bana kya tha wo jhumka
Jo khelta tha un gaalo pe?
Wo Jhumke ke khel ki khanak,
Tumne nahi suni hogi par ,
Aaj bhi,
Zindagi gaati hai khamoshi mein.

Nanhe nanhe do haathon mein,
Wo Enak pakad leti thi mere,
Aankhen kam kholti thi lekin,
Soye soye baatein karti thi,
Papa mein jab badi houngi,
Aapsi baatein karungi,
Wo baatein jo sochi maine,
Bekhbar usne kari thi jo,
Aaj bhi,
Zindagi gaati hai khamoshi mein

Dhalti shaam, Gudiya ka lal suraj,
Tumhara Jhumka, Maaki Choodi,
Mera Enak, Nanhi ki baatein,
Bandh bakse se, Guzre waqt sa,
Nikalke roz mujhse milta hai,
Kuch thi baatein kuch awaaze,
Kuch nahi thi wo bhi yaadein,
Aaj bhi,
Zindagi Gaati hai khamoshi mein.

Purpose of my life

God, or a lack of him, is something I never knew,
I thought of no dark hell nor of the heavens new,
Death, I expected not to get a surprise like this,
Here as I stand to be judged, they both do exist.

There you come with a book of my rights and wrong,
List of my rights look small and the wrong’s is long,
“My son”, you say, “play by rules and see your life’s task”,
“What are the rules what would I be judged on”, I ask.

“Purpose of your life”, you say with an eerie confidence,
“What’s that” I retort, the thing to me made no sense,
“Everyone has a purpose and life needs to fulfill the same,
Finding it and finishing is what makes you win the game”.

Young I was my purpose was to abide my parent’s law,
I did also the same at school, when I started to grow,
I did, like everyone else, live for my parents and to achieve,
All was fun as I won the run, there was nothing to grieve

I grew in to a fine teenager and I was a youth wild,
Lady love smiling at me, my purpose was to play mild,
She was so happy with my mild game, she married me,
To be with her, was the purpose of living, I thought so it be.
It was the time I was searching for what you had in plan,
You gave us a gift for a life time, as I added to my clan,
Such nice and cute was he as he lay small in my arms,
Happiness of my desire came with him, a lot in swarms.

I thought that my purpose of life was to be his best mentor,
I went on to live and grow along with him as life’s center,
He lived for me, became a teenager and I forgot the strife,
He too had left his parent’s nest to be in his lady’s life.

I thought my purpose of life was ended by the time he left,
My partner dead, my parents with you, no purpose would raft,
“Without them what would be the meaning of my life”, I ask,
I see you smile now and say, “That’s ok, but what about my task”

“My son”, he said, “where did you find them and for what ?”
“Your purpose was set before you the life that you got”
“My son,” he said, “Your purpose was never your own”
“I wished for you a life of hero, you made yourself a pawn”

“How do I now judge you for the deeds that you did not do”
“Your purpose was for you to find, by knowing the real you”
“You are not a son, a brother, a lover and a father alone,
“Son, the bit of me in you, in your life unexplored it had gone”

“I gave you the world you created others and the pain”
I ask as I understand now, “Can I live my life again?”

Son, Be My Dreams - A poem for Happy

I was young and I knew not how to talk,
My dad held me and taught to run and walk,
He looked at me with eyes full of tears,
I, he thought would be a cure of his fears,
He looked at me and hold me close to his heart,
Son, you will be close to me always, never part,
He brought his little one near and told to me,
Son, be a doctor, be all I ever wanted to be.
Son, grow up to win all riches and love of life,
Son, may you see the world and get a caring wife,
Son, grow up to make us all proud of you,
Son, have all the best of life and challenges few,

It has been years since I heard that wish of dad,
I had my dreams but that did not make him sad,
I went my way, and no doctor could I be,
I wanted to be a singer, this clerk is not me,
I have a wife who is caring, and a few riches too,
I made him proud and his eyes I still shine through,
I have a son, so cute, so little, so young is he,
I see him and here I hold him so close to me,
Son, grow up to make us all proud of thee,
Son, be a singer, be all I ever wanted to be.

I got a special Birthday gift this year – Though it arrived a week late

(I guess it’s not entirely co-incidental that this post of mine comes right after my post for my valentine. I promise I am going to keep this post very simple, I have heard that my days of fame are gone, someone is replacing me with better blogs, more on it in the post)

28 years - too early for a mid-life crisis
28 years is a long time and that is the time I have spent since I was born. This birthday was nothing extraordinary, nothing very special per se. My parents are here, and they were very excited about my birthday, just the way they were when I was 8. My wife was also excited, but I was not feeling good. I had an issue with life getting spent. I want to remain young, I want to go back to my age of carelessness. The whole week I kept on thinking about it. One more 27th April gone, and for the entire week after that I was contemplating philosophically about my life at 28, was almost in the middle of a mid-life crisis.

The Silent Run
And then it turns out that the Monday after my 28th birthday, exactly a week later, would become the happiest day of my life. Morning Abha had complained about some small issues she had with herself and grudgingly I thought of taking half a day leave and going with her to the doctor. As I was driving from my house to the hospital I realized that everyone was very bubbly for the first 2 kilometers and all of them slept of for the rest 15 kms. Not very unexpected though.

What is a good pain?

But what came next was unexpected. Doctor checked Abha and she said, “Aaj Admit hona padega”. Abha was so happy listening to this, that even doctor got a little tensed. Very happily running to the lift to get admitted on the third floor, my wife entered the hospital building that she was not going to leave for next 1 week. It was about 11 when she got admitted, and she would have never thought that those smiles would turn in to painful shouts soon. About 1:30 in the noon, after a few medications, there she was lying there on that bed, not able to take the pain, as the doctors entered, checking her saying “Good Pains”!! If my mom would not have been there, I know what she would have told the doctors but she restricted the prefixes to say “Pain is no good”. As per the hospital norms only my mom was allowed by her side in the room. Me and my dad waited outside in the waiting room. It was about 2, when I started strolling, and It was about 4 when I stopped, and I swear on the collection of audio cassettes, that those were the longest 2 hours of my life. Waiting for the doctor to tell me what happened. I remembered how Abha was joking in between her shouts just 2 hours before that and no doctor in there would have imagined that at 4.

Life Changed at 4:01 PM
It was 4:10 when the guard called us (my mom was also with us by then) to the room, and there came a young little lady doctor, with a small bundle in her hand, a white cloth covered young life.

“It’s a baby boy”

Doesn’t matter, that I had been expecting a baby girl for last 8 long months and had also finalized a name for her, the baby boy was fantastic. He was so cute and pink. His eyes weren’t opening completely, he was powdered, his small face had a pair of eyes, a nose, a mouth, 2 ears, all in the small area smaller than my fingers. Then came the question that scared me,

“You are the father? Hold him?”

How can I with my rough hands, which so careless that I never drank a cup of tea without spoiling my shirt, hold this beautiful young life, new to this world, so delicate, so fragile. But she did not give me time to respond. And he was given right in my hands. My little angel.

The moment I took him in my hands, the lights went off, I could not see him for 3-4 seconds. I remember he moved his legs inside the cloth, I felt it. And then the lights were back, and I saw him closing his eyes, which were open when no one saw. And then he did something with his face to throw a lot of gurgling saliva out on my face which was so near to his. My angel littered my face with his new found love of slosh. Never did I think anything cuter happened to me before.
I thought of my wife, who was so much like a young (won’t use the word little, as pregnancy hardly makes one look little) girl, who went in laughing giggling and smiling -telling me not to worry. We stayed in the hospital for 5 days after that till Saturday and the doctors who came to visit her everyday would joke with her about how she harassed them. Center of attraction in my family was clear, with all four of us now concentrated all the time around a small cradle. We would watch him sleeping, we would wait and feel so happy when he opened his eyes, we loved watching him smile in his sleep, moments that were so simple and yet so very emotional.

[And this little boy of mine blogs. check him out on http://happykehappythoughts.blogspot.com . Yesterday, a friend told me that he blogs better than me, and that makes me a little jealous. But its actually quite difficult to compete with this young infant enthusiasm and curiosity. I am writing this blog to make mine look better than his. I hope mine is a good effort. ]

Everyday there is some first of his which makes us excited about the day. Suddenly we are 5-6 people in my house and no one is having time, whether its day or night.

There are a few things that I would like to write about which might not be as interesting as the blog but which I think I need to acknowledge.

Abha, I love you; and I am so very proud of you. I could closely see in her, what motherhood means to a female. And I have started loving my mom all the more after this. I don’t think any man on this earth can give what a mother gives a child – life. I know he is our son, but I for my life would never claim that he is as much mine as he is yours. He is more of yours for ever and I will win him over to make him mine over the coming years.
My parents are my family’s biggest support system. We would be nothing without you. Though I know that I am no more your rock star, you have got a new one.

I would like to thank the hospital staff and the doctors, who made the dream that we saw for years come true. If you are in Pune, and if you are thinking which hospital should you be going to, if your wife is pregnant, I recommend Jehangir Hospital (Dr. Manjiri Kulkarni). They are very helpful, very patient and very understanding. Thank you Jehangir.

Well now I bet, my blog is better than Happy’s.

Happy who?
You Haven’t Met happy yet?
Though It would be wrong to confess here, I like both happy and his blog more than me and my blog. Meet him now.